Watching These People Makes Me Sick

And yet, I can't take my eyes off them.

This post is part of The Couch Potatory; our official excuse to cancel plans and call it cultural enrichment. If it's worth watching, reading, or falling down a rabbit hole over, you'll probably find it here.

There are very few documentaries I’ve watched twice.

Skywalkers: A Love Story is one of them.

Both times I’ve watched, I’ve totally regretted it during and afterward. Especially the other night when it gave me extreme insomnia and had me dreaming about it in the moments when I did manage to doze off.

If you’ve never seen it, it follows Angela Nikolau and Vanya Beerkus, a couple who illegally climb some of the world's tallest buildings without ropes or safety equipment. Please have a barf bag handy if you decide to look at their Instagram accounts.

Not only do they climb these monstrosities, but they also stand on the edges, dangle their legs over hundreds of stories of open air, take selfies, launch drones, film each other, and somehow manage to smile like they’re standing in line for coffee instead of balancing on a steel beam the width of my foot. 🤢🤢

I don’t understand a single thing about these so-called humans.

I don’t understand how their stomachs don’t revolt, or how they operate a camera while my palms are sweating from my couch.

I certainly don’t understand why brands sponsor them. I mean, isn’t that sort of irresponsible advertising?

And I 100% don’t understand why I've willingly pressed play...over and over again.

You may have seen this in the news a few days ago: the same couple climbed the spire of the Empire State Building, unfurled a peace banner, and Vanya proposed to Angela more than 1,400 feet above New York City.

Minutes later, they were arrested on charges that reportedly include burglary, trespassing, and reckless endangerment. And no, I wasn’t surprised. If you’re making a career out of breaking into skyscrapers, the law is catching up with you at some point.

After watching their Netflix documentary, I found myself down another rabbit hole on YouTube, where CNN news anchors were covering the story. They seemed almost offended that these two people existed. Half the segment was about how unbelievably dangerous the stunt was. The other half was spent wondering who these people even were.

Meanwhile, I’m sitting there thinking, “You have no idea, do you!” as if I’m their PR team just because I’ve watched the documentary twice. 😆

Millions of people know who they are and now you do, too. Sorry, not sorry!

Every rational part of my brain agrees with all the criticism. They’re putting themselves in extraordinary danger. If something went wrong, innocent people below could also be at risk. Rules exist for a reason, and I completely understand why they were arrested.

And yet, I’m forever on the “free the skywalkers!” bandwagon because I want more.

The documentary isn’t simply about reckless people chasing internet fame like some of those other “rooftoppers” do. It’s about obsession, bravery, art, and passion demonstrated by two people who seem incapable of living ordinary lives. They are no longer chasing views as much as they’re chasing a feeling that most of us can’t even imagine. Lord knows, I wish I had some kind…ANY kind of passion as strong as theirs!

Watching them almost feels like observing another species and my body physically rejects it.

My hands sweat, my stomach flips. More than once, I’ve had to pause the documentary because I genuinely felt nauseated. And I yell at them while I watch….like, “WHY TF are you doing this!!??” 😆

The other night I watched it again and then went to bed only to have a dream about looking down from the edges of buildings, so apparently my subconscious has joined the fan club.

What really intrigues me is that this documentary forces me to confront something about human nature….we love watching people do things we could never do, or never even WANT to do.

It’s not even like we want to be like them; we just become riveted by humans willing to stretch the boundaries of what we should be capable of while we’re over here losing our balance tying shoelaces.

Rock climbers, deep sea sailors, cave divers, free climbers. I even have an old high school friend who is a base jumper, and somehow, he’s not dead yet. I’m riveted by his Facebook page.

I have absolutely no desire to become any of them but I cannot stop watching. Even to the point where I’ve inevitably stumbled across videos of rooftoppers who sadly don’t come out alive. 🫢

Angela and Vanya just happen to occupy the most nauseating end of that spectrum, in my opinion.

I still think what they do is blatantly irresponsible, and yup…they probably deserved to be arrested every time they have been. And I absolutely hope they quit before the next documentary produces the saddest ending imaginable.

But if Netflix announces Skywalkers 2 tomorrow? I’m definitely watching it from the safety of my couch bolted to the floor.

Just in case Skywalkers somehow doesn’t elevate your blood pressure and anxiety enough (it will, trust me), may I introduce you to the 2022 movie, Fall?

The entire movie takes place on top of a 2,000-foot abandoned radio tower after two women become stranded with no way down. That’s it. That’s the movie. Just sweet, horrifying gravity.

I found it scarier than almost every serial killer movie I’ve ever watched because it forces you to imagine exactly how it would feel to be standing up there. Your brain doesn’t get the luxury of saying, “Well, that could never happen.” It just spends 107 nauseating minutes screaming, “NOPE.”

Apparently, I have developed a bizarre little niche for entertainment that makes me physically ill. I don’t enjoy heights, nor am I an adrenaline seeker in any way. I don’t even like climbing a step ladder to change a lightbulb. And yet, hand me a documentary about illegal skyscraper climbers or a movie about being trapped on top of an antenna tower, and I’m somehow incapable of looking away.

It’s a terrible hobby, really. One that I can only recommend from the comfort and safety of a couch, where the only thing in danger is your nervous system.

Confession time. What's the most anxiety-inducing thing you've ever watched that you somehow ended up loving? I'm always looking for my next "Why am I doing this to myself?" recommendation.

Let's compare notes in the comments.

---